Post by Anonymous77 on Dec 30, 2016 14:19:42 GMT -5
I have had emetophobia for years. I can't remember when it started and have no explanation as to why.
December 9 my 4 year old daughter v* twice, d* a couple of times, at times she felt tired but otherwise she played. My wife cared for her, kept things clean, continued to cook for them and our 9 year old. I was a mental mess and went through all my rituals. No one in the house got sick. I calmed down after 4 or 5 days. Not even sure if she had anything contagious.
About 2:45 am Thursday morning December 22 my wife felt n*. She felt like she needed to v* and ended up having to help it happen. It only happened once. She did have some pain and d* a couple of times after that. She knows what I am like so she isolated herself in the bedroom. She stayed in there all of Thursday 22nd, all of Friday 23rd, and half of Saturday 24th. Our daughters and I did not have contact with her. We stayed out of the bathroom. We spent a lot of time outside.
Our daughters started contact with her again on Saturday the 24th afternoon. She has had contact with them all the time since then and has cooked and taken care of them as usual.
Christmas eve I went to a family get together. My dad had told me his wife had been s* 3 days earlier. I intended on eating but she got into the food line before I did and I couldn't bring myself to eat after that since she was touching the food ladles. I thought everyone in the extended family would come down with it since she was there.....but no one has....which is a very good thing, but just another example of my irrational thought process.
She of course Lysol cleaned and Spray Bleach Cleaner cleaned the entire bathroom, bath/shower, toilet, sink, and floors. She actually has done it about 3 times. She washed all of the laundry twice, and washed the bed sheets twice, separately from the other clothes. She lysol cleaned and bleach cleaned the hallway and kitchen floors, did the same cleaning in the kitchen, and lysoled the living room carpet and vaccumed it. She also lysoled the furniture.
My anxiety subsided enough that I finally ate a very small meal on this Tuesday night. Ate a little more this Wednesday and Thursday night. Of course it was only food I prepared after I meticulously washed my hands and made sure it was all cooked in the oven at 400 degrees. I finally got brave enough to step into the bathroom last night and used it, and took my first shower in a week. I am still too nervous to go into our bedroom even though she cleaned it, because she was in there those two days, and I am afraid to get any of my clothes from the dressers or closets in there, even though many of them have been washed. I have been wearing camouflage hunting/work clothes that are stored in a utility room.
My wife has been fine since that incident, daughters have been fine.....not even sure she had anything contagious since she has issues with hietal hernia, reflux, and constipation at times. My wife is extremely patient but she is starting to get a little annoyed with me because I won't go into the bedroom to lie down in bed with her at night (I've been sleeping on the couch). I haven't kissed her in 10 days. I have had the courage to hug her a couple of times, rubbed her shoulders once, held her hand for a few minutes last night. I'm feeling better but the anxiety lingers and I fear getting a call from her while I'm at work and her telling me the girls are s*.....or I fear waking up in the middle of the night to hear them getting s* or I fear waking up in the middle of the night feeling s*.
I can't keep living this way, using the bathroom in a camp toilet or outside (we live on a farm), starving myself, too anxious to wear my clothes or take a shower because there may be leftover hidden germs somewhere, walking down the hallway on my tip toes to minimize contact with the floor, obsessively changing socks, wearing rubber gloves to touch things in the house, etc. etc. I can't stand my daughters seeing me like this and possibly learning this behavior themselves and growing up to be like me.
Do you think if it was something contagious that we are in the clear now? Do you think the cleaning and sanitizing has been sufficient?
This is driving my insane and I can't do this much longer. And it's all so irrational and doesn't make any sense because there is no guarantee that it was anything contagious!
December 9 my 4 year old daughter v* twice, d* a couple of times, at times she felt tired but otherwise she played. My wife cared for her, kept things clean, continued to cook for them and our 9 year old. I was a mental mess and went through all my rituals. No one in the house got sick. I calmed down after 4 or 5 days. Not even sure if she had anything contagious.
About 2:45 am Thursday morning December 22 my wife felt n*. She felt like she needed to v* and ended up having to help it happen. It only happened once. She did have some pain and d* a couple of times after that. She knows what I am like so she isolated herself in the bedroom. She stayed in there all of Thursday 22nd, all of Friday 23rd, and half of Saturday 24th. Our daughters and I did not have contact with her. We stayed out of the bathroom. We spent a lot of time outside.
Our daughters started contact with her again on Saturday the 24th afternoon. She has had contact with them all the time since then and has cooked and taken care of them as usual.
Christmas eve I went to a family get together. My dad had told me his wife had been s* 3 days earlier. I intended on eating but she got into the food line before I did and I couldn't bring myself to eat after that since she was touching the food ladles. I thought everyone in the extended family would come down with it since she was there.....but no one has....which is a very good thing, but just another example of my irrational thought process.
She of course Lysol cleaned and Spray Bleach Cleaner cleaned the entire bathroom, bath/shower, toilet, sink, and floors. She actually has done it about 3 times. She washed all of the laundry twice, and washed the bed sheets twice, separately from the other clothes. She lysol cleaned and bleach cleaned the hallway and kitchen floors, did the same cleaning in the kitchen, and lysoled the living room carpet and vaccumed it. She also lysoled the furniture.
My anxiety subsided enough that I finally ate a very small meal on this Tuesday night. Ate a little more this Wednesday and Thursday night. Of course it was only food I prepared after I meticulously washed my hands and made sure it was all cooked in the oven at 400 degrees. I finally got brave enough to step into the bathroom last night and used it, and took my first shower in a week. I am still too nervous to go into our bedroom even though she cleaned it, because she was in there those two days, and I am afraid to get any of my clothes from the dressers or closets in there, even though many of them have been washed. I have been wearing camouflage hunting/work clothes that are stored in a utility room.
My wife has been fine since that incident, daughters have been fine.....not even sure she had anything contagious since she has issues with hietal hernia, reflux, and constipation at times. My wife is extremely patient but she is starting to get a little annoyed with me because I won't go into the bedroom to lie down in bed with her at night (I've been sleeping on the couch). I haven't kissed her in 10 days. I have had the courage to hug her a couple of times, rubbed her shoulders once, held her hand for a few minutes last night. I'm feeling better but the anxiety lingers and I fear getting a call from her while I'm at work and her telling me the girls are s*.....or I fear waking up in the middle of the night to hear them getting s* or I fear waking up in the middle of the night feeling s*.
I can't keep living this way, using the bathroom in a camp toilet or outside (we live on a farm), starving myself, too anxious to wear my clothes or take a shower because there may be leftover hidden germs somewhere, walking down the hallway on my tip toes to minimize contact with the floor, obsessively changing socks, wearing rubber gloves to touch things in the house, etc. etc. I can't stand my daughters seeing me like this and possibly learning this behavior themselves and growing up to be like me.
Do you think if it was something contagious that we are in the clear now? Do you think the cleaning and sanitizing has been sufficient?
This is driving my insane and I can't do this much longer. And it's all so irrational and doesn't make any sense because there is no guarantee that it was anything contagious!